Baby steps
by Karintva
Summary: Brennan is confronted with the truth from an unlikely source. The first step towards becoming more than “partners”.
1. Baby steps

**A/N:** This is my very first fanfic so I'm a little nervous about it. Firstly, I want to tell you that English is not my first language. I hope the fic is readable anyway. Second, this is meant to be a look at how Brennan and Booth could finally get together. The chapters will all be short, like this one. If anybody like my story, I will publish the rest of the chapters. I have written this kind of like a story and kind of like a script, in a light mood (so far at least). I hope that doesn't break any rules. My main goal was to write something that I could see happening on the show. The style is a little different from other fics I've seen so I hope you'll like it (as opposed to hate it). If you do, please let me know so I can finish this story. This first chapter is set somewhere in season three, after 309.

**Words: **About 600

**Disclaimer:** Definitely does not run Bones from my one bedroom apartment in Sweden.

* * *

Booth and Brennan investigate a murder of a young boy who the FBI believes have been killed by a serial killer who has evaded justice for five years. The profiler who was assigned to the case when the first bodies were found is brought in to help. He and Brennan flirt a little during the case and as always, Booth is incredibly jealous. Repeatedly, he points out Dr Evans' (which is this particular profiler's name), in his opinion, _many_ flaws. For example, he is "too old for Brennan" (Dr Evans is 45 years old). If she knew who this particular celebrity was, she would reply that Evans has that sexy George Clooney-look going on (that is, indeed, what Angela thinks!) The case is successfully closed and when Booth goes to drop off his notes, Brennan is on her way out. Where is she going? He asks. She is going on a date with Dr Evans she replies matter-a-factly. He follows her out, all the while reminding her about the good doctor's many _many_ imperfections ("He could practically be your father!"). Unfortunately for Booth, Evans has come to pick her up, which means he has to witness a kiss on the cheek between the couple and watch them drive of ("should the man even drive at his age?!"). At the restaurant, the following dialog transpires. 

"You don't have anything going on with agent Booth, right?"

"No, of course not." She is rather surprised at this question. Here they are, at a nice restaurant, on a date, and he wants to talk about Booth?

"And you two have never been involved in any way?"

"No, we work together?" She is getting a bit annoyed. Why is he pressuring her? She is not at all interested in analyzing hers and Booth relationship. The sessions with Dr Sweets are enough.

He sits quietly for a moment. Looking perplexed and curious. "I'm asking because…well, at first, I just assumed that you two had a thing a long time ago and that he's having a hard time seeing you with other men. But if that's not the case…I must ask... how did you mange to continue working together despite his feelings for you? Isn't it uncomfortable, considering you don't feel the same way?" He looks at her as if she is partaking in some kind of psychology study. Like he is the scientist and she is the object. She does not like it at all.

"We didn't _manage_ anything. I don't know what you're referring to."

"Oh, come on! Don't tell me you haven't noticed. It's fairly evident." She looks at him, apparently not understanding what, to him, is so palpable.

He continues, trying to get her to see his point. "Okay, let me just put it like this…If looks could _really_ kill, I would never have dared ask you out."

"That's absurd, how could looks ever kill?…More importantly, you've misread the situation, Booth is just like that, overprotective." _Psychiatrists! They think they know everything!_

"I haven't, trust me. I'm a man and I know that when you look at a woman the way he looks at you, all you're thinking about is how to get her alone so you can have your way with her."

"Have your way?" She looks at him, perplexed. Why people insist on speaking in these ambiguous terms is something she will never understand.

"You know…your way…" He says this, trying at the same time to gesture…something. She gets a look of realization. Suddenly he realizes that he has taken this conversation too far, all because of his own damned curiosity. _I'm on a date for god's sake. _He tries to salvage the situation by smiling charmingly at her "But hey, I'm just glad you won't let him, so that I might still have a chance." She smiles as well, but it is apparent that his "theories" about her partner are still on her mind.


	2. What he said

**A/N:** Thank you so much for the reviews! Now that I know at least someone is reading, I will continue this story. The style is kind of the same as the last one. I narrate the set up which leads up to the main scene. Like I said before, my purpose is to write the relevant scenes which will lead up to "the surrender" we're all longing for. I still imagine this being set in season three (if we would have gotten a third season), shortly after the last story. I'm sorry if some of my sentences are too long. I'm a law student and unfortunately, that's how we write.

If you like this story, please review!

Bones is still not mine, even though I wish it was.

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Brennan is not the type of person to give a psychologist any credence. So what Dr Evans (who she was no longer dating by the way. He was such an intolerable know-at-all!) had said should not have lingered on her mind. Yet, it did. She caught herself studying Booth, trying to find the answers to her questions: _Was it true? Had he been right?_ The more time passed the more she became consumed with this quest. Why? Not even she knew but she told herself that it wasn't irrational for her to be so intent on learning the truth. After all, if he did have feelings for her, they should talk about it and resolve the issue so they could continue working together (she could not even imagine not working with Booth).

Furthermore, she was probably overreacting. Booth didn't have feelings for her. Most of the time, she believed this last statement to be true. However, it wasn't. The reason she was so obsessed with Dr Evans declaration was because of the simple fact that she somehow knew it was the truth and she was scared to death. So…she did what she could to find evidence to suggest otherwise (_we argue all the time, he glance at that beautiful woman the other day, he won't let me drive_). If Brennan was the type of person who confided in others, it would be apparent to them that the reason why she was so reluctant to accept Booth's feelings for her was because she too, felt them, for him, and she couldn't even imagine how it would be like to need someone like that. In fact, she had been avoiding it all her life. Brennan wasn't likely to admit this to herself, however, so she continued to study Booth, all in the name of saving their partnership.

The problem was that Brennan's obsession started to put a strain on their relationship. She decided that she would have to ask Booth the questions. It was the only logical way to get the answers she now desperately needed and the only way to resolve the tension she had created with her nonsensical thoughts. The opportunity presented itself one day in Dr Sweets' waiting room. He was running late and had asked them to wait. Booth was flipping through a magazine when Brennan suddenly stood up and started pacing.

"What's up Bones, restless?" He said this in his normal cheery tone, not knowing what was coming. She stopped and looked at him.

"Do you want to have your way with me?" Direct, as always.

"What!?" He looked taken aback. Who wouldn't have been surprised by this strange question?

"Do you…want to…have…your…way…with me?" She spoke these words to him as if he was a child. However, the repetition was pointless. Naturally, he had heard what she said.

"What the hell are you talking about, Bones? What way am I supposed to wanna have?" At this point, he truly did not understand what was going on. However, he was about to comprehend her meaning more clearly then he would have wished.

"The statement that someone wants to have their way with someone else implies that the former person have a desire to be intimate with the latter."

As soon as he heard the word "intimate" he understood where this conversation was going and his pulse rate immediately started to increase.

"Let me get this straight. Are you asking me if I want to have sex with you? _Concentrate on the irrelevant details and you might dodge this bullet._

She pondered this for a moment.

"I don't know if it includes only sex but I guess that's part of it." By her tone, one would think they were discussing wallpaper samples.

"You guess? You haven't really though this through, have you?" As he said this, Booth stood up and walked towards her. His voice a little elevated.

"What does it matter Booth? Just confirm or deny." Brennan was also raising her voice at this point, talking faster.

"Where the hell is all this coming from?" He shortened the distance between them even more.

"Why won't you just answer me?"

"I want to know how you developed this delusion of grandeur."

"Why?"

"Because!" Now they were both acting like children. Standing close, waving their arms, talking rapidly and almost yelling.

"Fine, Dr Evans told me!"

"Ooh, Dr Evans told you…because he knows me so well it's only natural that he would be familiar with my desires." He said this in an incredibly sarcastic tone, looking at her as if she was an idiot.

"If it's so outrageous, why don't you just deny it?"

"Why do you care so much?"

"Don't try to turn this around on me." She was getting mad at him. Why was he not giving her the answers she was expecting? Even if she somehow knew the answer to her question was yes, she at least thought he would deny it so they could go on pretending.

"Why not, you brought it up. Do _you_ want me to want to have my way with you?" He was still yelling and talking fast. It was almost impossible to hear what he was saying.

"Answer my question!" She couldn't back down, not when she had taken it this far.

"You answer my question!"

They were inches apart, both silent, staring the other one down.

"Am I interrupting something?" If Sweets had not walked in at that precise moment, Booth might have confessed or kissed her or simply walked out. No one would ever know because, ironically, Sweets had _run_ up the stairs in fear of retribution for being too late.

Clearly, he had interrupted something but neither Brennan, nor Booth, replied. They just followed Sweets into his office and tried to talk as little as possible during the hour that followed.

The rest of the day was almost unbearable for them both and they felt relief when the case they were currently working on was closed later that same day. Brennan was cursing herself for asking him that stupid question but she hoped that a few days apart would make them forget it ever happened. Booth, however, could not stand the awkwardness between them. He concluded that he needed to smooth things over. The only problem was he didn't know how. Maybe he should just lie and tell her that he overreacted and that he has no plans on getting his way with her. He was too afraid of what would happen if he didn't. He found her sitting at her desk.

"Bones, can I talk to you for a sec?"

"Booth, I don't know if we…" Again they were interrupted. This time by a knock on the doorframe.

"Sully!" She sounded more surprised than happy. "What are you doing here?"

"I couldn't sail the seven seas forever, now could I? Hey man." The last part was directed at Booth. They shook hands. Booth tried to paste on a look of delightfulness at the sight of his old colleague, but he couldn't hide the fact that he felt nothing but apprehension. Luckily (or unfortunately), neither Brennan nor Sully were looking at him. They were looking at each other.

"It's great to see you." She rose from her chair and walked over to him, giving him a quick hug.

"I thought I'd ask you if you wanted to have dinner with me. Catch up." Sully looked at her nervously. Standing there, Booth felt like he might as well not even be in the room.

"Yes, of course. I would love to." She smiled. A little too much for Booth's liking. She turned her attention to Booth. "Maybe we can talk some other time?" Was that a look of guilt he saw in her eyes? He couldn't be sure.

It's not like he had a choice. If he did, he would have told her no, he wanted to talk now. But instead he replied "Sure, some other time." Even so, he knew they wouldn't. She had been too relieved by Sully's sudden reappearance and interruption. She didn't want to talk. She wanted to pretend. That much was unmistakably clear to him now.

"See you tomorrow then." She said, leaving him there, watching them, Sully's arm around her waist. He took hold of the door handle, squeezing it, making his knuckles turn white. _Damn it_. Seeley Booth, usually a man of action, just stood there, not able to move, squeezing that door handle.


	3. Crossing the line

These chapters just keep getting longer and longer, which was not my intention. Maybe the other ones will be shorter though.

This story picks up somewhere after the last one. It's the same style although this deals with several different incidents. Hope you like it. Thanks to Bambuskaru and Different Child for the latest reviews. I'm glad you liked the chapter. I really hope there are not too many spelling mistakes etc.

Thanks to everyone who's reading. Please let me know what you think.

* * *

Sully was back and naturally, he and Brennan started dating again. Why wouldn't they? When he left, almost a year ago, Brennan had been devastated and the only reason their romance ended was because it was too hard to maintain a long distance relationship. Of course, a lot of things had changed since then, especially between Brennan and Booth, but if that meant she didn't want to be with Sully anymore, she would have had to admit that she wanted to be with Booth and that wasn't an option. So she and Sully dated, but it wasn't the same as last time. Back then, she had almost been in love. At least, she had never felt about anyone, like she had felt about Sully. This time around, he was just like the rest of them. She like him but their relationship didn't particularly affect her. In a way, she liked it that way. She had come close to experiencing love, but that also meant she had come close to experiencing need and that, she could do without. She didn't articulate this, but the fact was that Sully's reappearance had provided the necessary brake in her and Booth's relationship. The night he came by her office, Booth had wanted to talk and even if that conversation might not have led to anything earth shattering, they were undoubtedly headed that way. Now Sully provided Brennan with an alibi.

Booth didn't consider himself a homewrecker and he had been forced to accept this new development. Nevertheless, it wasn't easy to silently listen while Brennan talked about her and Sully, especially when it concerned sex. God, how he wished he would never again hear the words "Sully" and "gratification" used in the same sentence by his partner. How could he have put himself in this situation? He, Seeley Booth, who had always been able to get any woman he wanted and then some. Here he was, pining for a woman (a squint nonetheless!) who saw him as her girlfriend with whom she could share intimate details about the men in her life. Yes, Booth's life had few highlight these days, and occasionally, he even wished he had never met Temperance Brennan. But when she looked at him in a certain way all he could see was _his_ Bones, no matter who she really belonged to (not that she could really belong to anyone). Moreover, sometimes he could swear there was something in her eyes which told him she felt more than she led on. Like that day in Dr Sweets office when she confronted him or the time Caroline made them kiss. These looks (of love, you might say) instilled hope in Booth and made him forget all about Sully. Nevertheless, he didn't want to encourage himself but sometimes she made it hard. Especially that time when he got a scolding for sleeping with a woman who had been involved in an investigation they were conducting.

The case was pretty straightforward. A journalist had been set on fire in Baltimore in the middle of a hotel parking lot during a conference concerning environmental issues. Booth and Brennan had gone up to investigate the murder and one of the women they interviewed (she had worked with the victim) ended up in Booth's hotel room the night before they were supposed to go back to D.C (turned out the victim had recently been diagnosed with paranoid personality disorder and had killed himself). In the morning, Brennan had stopped by Booth's room to ask if he was ready to leave and his one-night stand had opened the door. When Booth got out of the shower, she told him his partner had said that she would wait for him in the car. During the ride home, the following conversation had taken place.

"What's up Bones? You're not usually this quiet." He looked at her.

"Maybe I don't have anything to say." She continued to stare intently at the passing scenery.

"You always have something to say."

"Okay, fine. If you want to know what I have to say, I'll tell you." Her voice was cold. "I'm extremely surprised by your behavior. Didn't you thing it was inappropriate to sleep with that woman?"

"Hey! Wait a minute, how is this any of your business?" He was surprised by the look in her eyes. She was mad.

"When you have sex with someone who's involved in _our_ investigation, you make it my business." She stared at him, waiting for his explanation.

"First of all, the investigation is over and secondly, we barely interviewed her. She wasn't even a suspect. Besides, who are you to judge? You almost started dating a murder victim's son once. Not to mention Dr Evans." He didn't like to fight with her but he wasn't going to swallow this unjustified attack.

"I did not date him and Dr Evans was helping us. He didn't work with the victim."

"No, he worked with _you_, which seems to be your thing." _Except when it comes to me_, he added in his head.

"What do you mean 'my thing'?"

"Does the name Sully ring a bell?" His voice was somewhat bitter.

"We waited until after the case was closed. Besides, this is not about me, it's about you, acting unprofessional because you're unable to control your urges. Was she really that hard to resist?" Her voice dripped with contempt.

_Why is she__ so mad?_ He searched her face for an answer and suddenly realized she was jealous. Brennan, who always remained rational, was acting anything but when faced with the reality that he had slept with someone. This realization made him feel shamelessly cheerful. His voice became softer. "Look Bones, I'm sorry, I didn't mean what I said about Sully and the others. And you're right, it was unprofessional."

Her cold stare was replaced by something that resembled remorse. "No, I'm sorry Booth. It is none of my business who you sleep with and the case _was_ closed."

"Even so, it's not like I'm going to see her again you know. But I'm a guy…with needs..." He couldn't believe he was having this conversation but for some reason he felt he needed her to understand. "…and sometimes, if you can't have what you want, you have to settle for the next best thing and last night, the next best thing happened to be a woman who knew the victim."

"The next best thing? Are you telling me that you got rejected by someone?" She gave him a teasing smile.

"Yeah, I guess you could say that." She had no idea the rejection he was talking about was her, turning down another drink.

"That's harsh Booth. I hope you'll be able to get over it." She looked at him with fake concern and he smiled at her, rejoicing at the fact that she had, indeed, been jealous.

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Barely two weeks after this argument had occurred, Booth was almost caught in the act again in a different hotel room. This time, however, another woman was not involved. He and Brennan had been forced to spend the night in some godforsaken town with only one small bed and breakfast. Naturally, the only accommodation available was a double bed room. Brennan tried to force Booth to sleep on the floor but he wouldn't budge. Firstly, he really needed get a good night's sleep and secondly, he didn't mind sharing a bed with his partner. Of course he didn't tell her that last part.

In the morning, he had woken up, facing her. For awhile, he just laid there, watching her. He noticed that her bra strap had slipped down from its rightful place on her shoulder. Should he pull it up? _No, you can't do that._ But his eyes kept coming back to that strap. _What's the harm, she wouldn't mind._ He lightly graced her upper arm as he pulled the strap back into place, taking his time, fully concentrating on the task. When he was almost done, she stirred. He quickly pulled his hand back and practically ran into the bathroom. His heart was pounding fast. _Stupid! _He looked at himself in the mirror. _What the hell is wrong with you? Why did you run in here? It's not like you were taking off her clothes._

"Booth, are you almost done in there?" He jumped, silently praying she had just woken up.

"Yeah, I'll be right out." He splashed his face with water a few times before returning to the bedroom, telling himself to get a grip.

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In short, the incidents described above and others like them made it hard for Booth to maintain a strictly platonic relationship and perhaps he knew a day would come when he would give in. He just didn't think it would happen when it did.

The case was just like any other case. A woman had been murdered and it turned out she lived in a remote cabin outside of Washington. Brennan and Booth drove up for what they thought would be a quick inspection of the victim's house. Unfortunately, while they were searching through the house, someone slashed Booth's tires, shot his police radio and ran off. As expected, Booth tried to chase after the culprit but tripped and lost him (which didn't exactly improve his mood). To make things worse, the area didn't get cell service and the nearest gas station was more than a day's walk away. There were not much to do but start walking and so they did. After a few hours, the sun set and they had to stop since it was impossible to see anything. Booth suggested they might as well try to get some sleep seeing as they couldn't continue until the morning anyway. It wasn't very comfortable though and Brennan was shivering due to the cold (it was in the middle of April and the nights still got fairly cold).

Booth looked at her, concern showing on his face. "Are you cold?"

"It's not that bad." Overprotective, as always, she thought. Stubborn, as always, he thought.

"You should come here, so we can share body heat." He knew she would protest but he had already decided he would physically force her if he had to. He didn't want to risk her getting hypothermia.

"I'll be fine." She tried to sound convincing but she couldn't stop chattering her teeth.

"Bones! Don't be unreasonable. Either you come here or I'll make you."

She thought about refusing for a little while longer but decided it would be useless. "Alright." She moved over to him, letting him wrap his arms around her.

"Is that better?" He stroked her back gently.

"Yeah." It felt nice, she though, comfortable, but as soon as she realized this, she became _un_comfortable. She looked at him, searching for the same awkwardness, but what she saw was something else. He almost looked scared and happy at the same time. She wanted to break their eye contact but found she couldn't. She was mesmerized by his gaze. _What is he thinking?_ After what felt like several minutes, he lowered his face to hers and kissed her softly. A million thoughts were running through her head as he did this. If she could have read his mind, however, she would have found nothing. He didn't want to think anymore, he just wanted to kiss her. Regrettably, this blissful certainty only lasted a few seconds. He broke the kiss and searched her face for a reaction. She didn't look horrified and that was all the encouragement he needed. He kissed her again. More intensely this time, pulling her closer. She let him explore her mouth, shifting to lie on her back. His hand slowly made its way up under her jacket. When she felt it on the outside of her bra, she suddenly fell back to earth. _Booth, he's my partner…Sully._

"Booth…" She put her hands on his chest, pushing him away. Apparently, he wasn't where she was, looking at her with confusion in his eyes. "We can't."

Though she would try, she would never forget how heartbroken he looked before rolling of her and laying back down, staring up at the sky. He said nothing and she didn't know what to say, so they were both silent, trying to forget how they just a minute ago took one giant step across the line.


	4. Make believe

**A/N: **Hello again everybody! I want to thank you for the reviews as always. When you don't have any inspiration it helps to know someone is reading your story. I've been kind of low on inspiration lately but I will try to end this story and get those two crazy kids together. Some of you might think it's going a little too slow, but all in good time… I promise.

* * *

The next morning she tried to talk to him about what had almost happened but he replied there was nothing to talk about, it had been a mistake, no big deal and that they should just forget it. In a way, she was relieved to hear him say that but, unfortunately, he didn't sound particularly convincing. The truth was that he could never forget and when she had stopped him the night before, his heart had broken a little and now all he wanted was to heal it somehow. The only way he could think of was to go back. Erase the feel of her from his mind. He cursed himself for not being able to resist her. But on the other hand, he had to give himself credit for making it this long. He knew she was the only one he wanted, but at this point, he didn't think she felt the same way. He knew she felt something for him (that much was evident when she kissed him back) but maybe the only thing she felt was an attraction and if he forced his feelings on her, she might run and he couldn't bear to think about that. He just had to hope he could ignore his feelings and maybe, someday, find someone else he could be content with. At least he could be grateful for the fact that she never wanted to get married since witnessing a ceremony between his beloved Bones and Sully could potentially kill him. Thank god for small favors, right?

By the time they reached the gas station, Brennan and Booth had made a silent deal between themselves. To keep their partnership and friendship intact, they would go back to the beginning, when everything was uncomplicated and they were, actually, _just_ friends.

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They played their respective parts almost to perfection. Booth was the supportive friend with strictly professional feelings towards his partner and Brennan played the part of a woman who loved her boyfriend and did not secretly think about one of his best friend's lips touching hers. They worked together, laughed together, had coffee together and even spent time together outside of work without any big complications arising. However, the reason this uncomplicated relationship could be maintained might have been because Booth deliberately avoided Sully and Brennan had practically stopped talking about him. In fact, he and Brennan were almost like a couple, without the sex of course, and this kept them both fairly satisfied and Booth could almost pretend that Sully didn't exist.

All good things must come to an end however, and this situation was no different. It started with an accidental meeting in the FBI lunchroom.

"Hey man!" Booth had almost walked straight into Sully and when the latter greeted him, he sounded happy, which made Booth feel guilty.

"Hey." He tried to muster up the same cheerfulness. The fact was that he had missed Sully but seeing him only reminded Booth of what he couldn't have.

"Where the hell have you been? I never see you anymore."

"Well, you know, busy with work." He tried to look apologetic.

"Yeah, Tempe tells me you almost work harder than her these days."

He hated how Sully called her 'Tempe'. What the hell kind of nickname was that? It made her sound like a 10 year-old, not like the strong woman that she was. While he ranted on in his head, he shrugged his shoulders in reply.

"Anyway, I'm glad I ran into you. My sister's in town, you remember Sarah?" Booth nodded. "She's just been through a terrible divorce and I really want to try to get her mind of things, so I was thinking that you might be willing to go out with me, Tempe and Sarah this weekend. You know, like a double date."

Booth searched his mind for an excuse but he came up blank. He couldn't say he had Parker because Bones would know he was lying and he felt bad for avoiding Sully so the words "Yeah, sure" came out of his mouth. Sully looked genuinely happy which made Booth feel even worse. Forget the fact that he would have to suffer through a whole evening with the happy couple. He didn't even want to think about that. But he had agreed to go and he wasn't the kind of man who went back on his word so the following Saturday night, he found himself sitting across from Brennan in a darkly lit restaurant, wishing he had made up an excuse while he still had had the chance.

Dinner was awful, at least for him. Every time Sully kissed Brennan, or called her 'Tempe', he flinched and he had to concentrate all of his energy to hide the disdain in his voice when Sully brought up the topic of moving in with Brennan. Luckily, this seemed to be news to her as well and she didn't sound overjoyed. Booth barely noticed Sully's poor sister and he was ashamed to admit that the only reason he gave her any attention was to make Brennan jealous. What the hell was he becoming? Someone who used a recent divorcee to make another woman notice him? When he realized what he was doing, he was so appalled that he had to excuse himself and go to the bathroom. When he got out, he bumped in to Brennan in the hall.

"Hey."

"Hey." An awkward silence followed but Brennan broke it. "So…what do you think about Sarah?"

"She's nice." Apparently Brennan wasn't satisfied with that answer because she looked at him, urging him to go on. "You know…good looking…I mean, how much can you really know about a person after one night?"

"Well, I know that she's very smart and she's religious, just like you and Sully says she loves children."

"Whoa! It's just a date okay, we're not getting married just yet." He put his hands up as to defend himself against her matchmaking.

"I know that. I'm just saying…she's perfect for you." She gave him a knowing look.

_No, you're perfect for me_, he replied in his head. Instead he said "Why are you so eager for us to hit it off?"

"I want you to be happy of course." She tried to keep her voice light but she knew this was dangerous territory.

"Or do you want me to be occupied?" He stepped a little closer, holding her gaze.

"No, why would I want that?"

"I don't know Bones, why would you want that?" He put his hand against the wall behind her, closing of her escape route.

"I just asked you that." She was still trying to keep a light tone.

He sighed. "Maybe you think it'll be easier that way." His mouth was inches from hers. He did not dare look at it. To kiss her here, with Sully just a few feet away, was too tacky even for him and he would probably get a back eye if he did.

"What will be easier?" She was determined not to indulge him.

"You know what I mean. You might be socially handicapped but you're not stupid." He felt irritated but still he wouldn't let her walk away.

"I really don't." She stared at him defiantly, daring him to continue pushing her.

He sighed again. Clearly, she would not budge and he didn't even know what he wanted her to say. "Ok then…" He took a step back, gesturing for her to go back into the restaurant. "Ladies first."

Like the gentleman he was he had offered to walk Sarah home after dinner. He didn't know what he hoped might happen. Maybe they could both help the other to forget about their troubles. When they got to her house, she stopped.

"I would ask you in but unfortunately, your dance card seems to be all filled up."

He was surprised at this remark although he didn't know why he should be. He hadn't exactly tried to win her over. Nevertheless, he didn't want to go home alone just yet so he said "Why would you think that? What did Sully tell you? You know you can't believe a thing he says." He added a charming smile which would usually work.

"Oh, trust me, Sully didn't tell me anything. He doesn't know."

"What doesn't he know? I feel like I'm not apart of this conversation."

"Look, Seeley, you seem like a great guy, I like you, but I love my brother and I feel like I'm in a very awkward position here. I rather not get in the middle. In fact, I shouldn't have brought it up."

"Did you actually bring anything up?" He looked confused.

"Okay…you're friends with my brother, right?

"Yeah, of course." _Why are we talking about Sully?_

"Then I expect you not to do anything that could potentially crush him. Like, for example, have an affair with his girlfriend."

"Bones? I don't…we haven't…" He tried to get out something concise but he didn't know what to say.

"Don't bother, Seeley. It's none of my business. I'm just asking you, as a concerned sister, to please make this threesome into a twosome, whether you or Sully ends up being the last man standing. He doesn't deserve to be made a fool."

Booth realized it would be pointless to argue. Obviously, she wasn't blind and he wasn't as discreet as he thought. "I know he doesn't but if it's any consolation, I think I'm the fool in this scenario."

"It is. Just make sure it stays that way." She smiled and turned to unlock her door. "Take care Seeley."

"Yeah, you too."He gave her a sad smile, turned and started the long walk home.

While he was walking, Booth thought about the conversation he had had with Brennan. Objectively, it had been stupid of him to push her like that but he just couldn't help himself and he now felt angry at her for trying to force him into the arms of someone else (which had totally failed, by the way), for not being jealous and most of all, he was angry at her for his current state of mind.

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One week later, Angela and Hodgins finally had their wedding. Booth was employed to be Hodgins best man again and Brennan was the maid of honor. The ceremony was held at the mansion and nothing was recycled from the first wedding. That meant Brennan had a new dress which, of course, made Booth catch his breath once again. He thought back to the last time they did this. She had been as beautiful then but he hadn't yet fully realized his feelings for her. That was a blissful time, when he had had her all to himself and he didn't have to fight an urge to kiss her everyday. Even though kissing was out of the question, he wouldn't miss his chance to dance with her and later, during the reception, an opportunity presented itself. She was talking to one of Angela's friends when he asked her. She agreed and he realized he had been nervous about her reply the whole day. As they danced, he noticed she looked somewhat melancholic.

"What's wrong? You look a little depressed."

"It's nothing really. You know, just one of those days."

"Does it have to do with Sully?" Even though he'd sworn of the topic forever, the inner knight in shining armor in him couldn't ignore that his partner was upset.

She looked at him, saying nothing but the look on her face made it evident that the answer to his question was yes.

"What is it?"

"You don't want to talk about this, trust me."

"Bones, I'm your friend. I'll always be your friend."

"You'll get uncomfortable. It's about sex."

_Of course it __is_. "I think I can handle it." _Think_ being the operative word, he added to himself.

"Okay. Do you remember when you told me about making love vs. sex?" His face told her that he did remember. "Well, the last time Sully and I dated, the sex was fantastic and I was completely satisfied. But this time, I can't get what you said out of my head and I feel like we don't have that, and suddenly, I'm not satisfied. So if you think about it, this is all your fault." He was quiet, processing this information. "I know, it's completely ridiculous and I feel like such a girl for making a big deal out of it." For the first time since he met her, Brennan was blushing.

"It's not ridiculous Bones. It's important and I mean…if you feel that way, maybe you're not doing it right…You know, I could show you if you want me to." A big smile spread across his face.

She laughed. "How do you know that would work?"

His smiled disappeared and he pulled her closer to him, bringing his mouth to her ear. "I just know."

His breath on her ear made her shiver and she couldn't stop the image of Booth, trying to show her the difference. She looked around the room and was glad to find Sully distracted by Angela so he couldn't see the emotional turmoil evident on her face.


	5. You make me feel

This chapter is longer than I intended. I think there's maybe one or two chapters left after this and I will try to make them to write them but I've started a new job so it might take a little longer. Thank you for the reviews as always. I hope you like this chapter because I had a hard time expressing what I wanted to say in English. Too bad you don't all speak Swedish :)

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Since Angela and Hodgins' wedding, Booth had changed his game plan. He no longer avoided Brennan and Sully and he almost encouraged Brennan to talk about her relationship with him. This was not because he was suddenly okay with them being together or that his feelings for the brilliant anthropologist had disappeared. The reason was that Booth had decided to be contented and that meant getting over this stupid crush. Sure, he knew it wasn't a crush but he would get over it all the same. This relationship could never be and he knew he had to stop flirting with her since that only made it harder for him to forget how happy she made him.

On this particular day he was at the lab locking for her. They hadn't seen each other since the wedding. Apparently, all the murderers were on a holiday which of course should please Booth, but that meant he didn't have any excuse to see Brennan and after a week had passed he made one up. When he got to the lab he didn't even remember what it was but he thought it had something to do with needing help on one of Parkers projects for school. He decided he would just make it up as he went along. He didn't need to improvise however because his partner was not at the Jeffersonian. Angela informed him that Brennan had gone to lunch with Sully and that she hadn't returned. This worried Booth. She never left work before 7 pm and now that he had a reason to check up on her, he thought he could justify swinging by her apartment. He had to wait a long time for her to open the door and when she did, he understood why. Her pupils were enormous and in her right hand, she was holding a bottle of vodka.

"Are you drunk?" It was a stupid question but the asked it nonetheless.

"No…" She tried to focus her eyes but it was pointless, she was drunk.

"Fine, fine. I'm a _little_ drunk." As she said this, she held up her thumb and index finger to emphasize the word little.

"I think you are more than a little drunk." He walked past her into the apartment. She closed the door and turned to face him.

"Well, I'm just following your advise…except I don't have a bartender named Shaky but I do have a bottle of hard liquor." She smiled in triumph.

"Okay, what's up Bones? Which sorrows are you drowning?"

She went back to the couch, sat down and filled up her glass. "Sully dumped me so I thought I would celebrate another failed relationship." She raised her glass as to make a toast and emptied it in one gulp. "But I'm not really drowning my sorrows 'cause it's not like this is a surprise. I mean did I actually thing I could make it work? If I did I don't know why."

Even though he kind of had been wishing for this moment for months he now felt sad for her. He hated when that happened because the thought of her being unhappy made him panic a little and it usually meant he would spend all his time thinking of ways to cheer her up. All he could think of right now was to keep her company.

"All right, I'll be your Shaky." He sat down next to her on the couch. "Now give me that vodka. This bartender is not working for free."

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An hour later Booth was almost as drunk as Brennan which was a good thing since he was being forced to suffer through a never ending rant from his partner while she walked back and forth in the living room. He tried to listen to what she said but she didn't make a lot of sense.

"You know what! It is not my fault this relationship ended." She pointed to herself as to make it clearer who she was talking about.

"You actually never really told me why Sully broke up with you so I can neither agree nor disagree."

"It doesn't matter because it can in no logical way be my fault." She stared at him, daring him to disagree with her.

"Okay, whatever you say."

"Fine!" She threw her hands in the air. "Maybe it is a little my fault. But I don't think he could expect me to move in with him already. I'm a strong independent woman and I don't need a man to confirm that. He knew who I was when we started dating and to pose an ultimatum. An ultimatum! I don't think so."

"Wait a minute, he asked you to move in with him?" This made Booth sober up a bit.

"Yeah! Stupid right? Everything was fine and he ruined it." She stopped pacing and sat back down beside him.

"Why did you turn him down? You lived with that Peter guy before we started working together."

Her face told him she hadn't even thought about what he now wanted to know. She was silent for a few seconds, thinking.

"I don't know. I guess….Maybe I…" She fell silent again. "I hate it when you do that." She turned her head to look at him. "You ask me things that make it hard for me to stay rational…and possibly in denial…and now I hate that I just admitted that."

He smiled. "Maybe it's a good thing for you to turn off your brain sometimes." His voice was soft.

"I think that's what I did. That's why I won't move in with Sully and that's why I didn't sail off with him last year. It was the logical choice but I couldn't. I didn't want to.

"Why?"

She smiled at him. "There you go again, trying to make me 'feel' stuff."

He studied her face. She was so unbelievably beautiful and he couldn't stop himself from asking his next question. "Okay, so how do I make you feel?" He didn't smile anymore. The liquor had made him forget about his decision to leave this alone and he needed to know if it meant something that she didn't want to be with Sully.

She could interpret the question in a safe, just-friends-talking kind of way but when she looked into his eyes she knew he didn't mean it that way. He stayed silent, waiting for her to respond, holding her gaze. The alcohol helped her to be honest as well. "Like it's possible for me to trust someone again." She knew this was the truth although she didn't exactly know what it meant.

Her answer made Booth ache for her, in both senses of the word. It was a sad declaration but at the same time it was the best thing she could have said to him. The sweetest thing.

Suddenly, she stood up. "It's getting late. Maybe I should go to bed." She started to walk away but he grabbed her wrist, stood up, turned her around to face him and before she got a chance to protest, he kissed her. This kiss wasn't like the one in the woods. That one had been soft and gentle, shy. This kiss was forceful, exploring, hungry. Like he was dying and she was his lifeline. He put his hands behind her neck as to hold her in place and she responded by gripping his upper arms tightly. They both knew how this would end. It was rather a question of where, the couch or the bed. As Brennan pulled off his shirt, he decided the bed was too far away.

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Booth was sitting on his partner's sofa, getting dressed. He couldn't really believe what had just happened. He had slept with Bones, _his _Bones. Of course it had been everything he had imagined a hundred times and then some but now he was terrified. She had gone to the bathroom and the minutes she was gone felt like hours. He knew her brain was processing the events of the evening and he didn't want her to have too much time to think about it because he was afraid of how that would end. Not that he was completely sure where they should go from here. He just knew he didn't regret what had happened and that he would do it again in a second. Finally she returned to the living room. She had put on a top and sweatpants but she still looked too beautiful. She stopped a few feet from him but said nothing. He looked at her, unsure of what to do.

"Bones, I…"

She interrupted him before he could continue. "Booth, I think we have to look at this rationally."

_Oh oh. _A big warning sign flashed in his head.

"We were drunk. I needed a pick me up and you needed sex. That's all it was. It happens. We've worked together for a long time. Obviously we're attracted to each other and this was a logical way to satisfy our biological urges. It could just as easily have been with someone else, for the both of us."

_Not those damned biological urges again!_ "Are you really telling me that after almost three years of being _just_ partners with complete self control over our 'biological urges', we just happened to sleep together by accident because we needed sex and that's all there is to it?" He was prepared for this but now that he heard the words from her own mouth he could hardly believe it.

"Yes, that's what I'm saying and I don't think we should talk about this anymore. We should remember that we're friends and partners and nothing else."

The forcefulness in her voice surprised him. He hadn't seen her this harsh before and he didn't like it. Her eyes softened a little, pleading with him. "I'm sorry Booth but I can't give you anything else. This is it." She held her breath, waiting for him to respond. He didn't. He just got up, walked over to the door and left, leaving her standing there, alone.

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Booth was again looking for Brennan and this time he found her in her office. She was deeply concentrated and didn't hear him come in.

"Hey."

She looked up, forced a smile and greeted him in the same manner.

"How've you been?" It had only been two days since 'the incident' but he couldn't think of anything else to say.

"Fine, and you?"

He couldn't believe how uncomfortable this was. He just wanted to get it over with so he didn't answer her question.

"I need to talk to you." She looked suspicious and he knew she was afraid he would bring up the other night. Even so, she replied with an easy "Sure".

"Before I say anything I want you to know that this is not an ultimatum and I'm not trying to pressure you. I just need to look out for me right now and I hope you understand that."

"What are you saying?" She was worried now.

"I've asked Cullen to assign you to another agent." He could hardly look her in the eyes.

"What!? Why?" She tried to hide the disbelief and the panic evident in her voice.

He forced himself to hold her gaze. "You know why…and believe me when I say I've tried but I need a break, okay? So I'll see you around." He hated to do this to her and he hated that he was too weak to handle the situation he was in but he knew he had to leave before this moment became unbearable, so he turned to leave.

"Will you at least have coffee with me sometime?" Her voice sounded uncharacteristically pleading, almost desperate.

He smiled sadly at her. "I don't know Bones. I just don't know…and that's all _I _can give _you_ right now." He regretted the last part but it had just slipped out. Apparently he was feeling a little resentful. All the more reason to stick to his decision. As he put more and more distance between them, every step made him feel worse and he had to sit in his car for several minutes before he could make himself drive away. Leaving the Jeffersonian and her, his Bones, behind.

* * *

I know that "the sex" could have been covered in more detail but as I said in my first chapter, I'm going for something that could possibly happen on the show and we all know we're going to get a fade out, unfortunately :). You have to imagine what happened on that couch by yourselves. Too bad Bones isn't shown on HBO. Hope you liked it anyway! 


	6. Going back

_Hello everybody! I have finally reached the end of this story! I will post it in two chapters however. I hope there aren't too many mistakes still left. It's late here but I wanted to finish it before I go back to work tomorrow. I hope you've enjoyed my story and I would be overjoyed if you told me what you think about the ending.__ I also want to thank everybody that has read this story. I'm thankful that you stuck with it even though the beginning was a little..hmm..rough :)

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_

Booth was sitting at his desk, staring blankly into thin air. He had a case file in front of him and even though he had been reading it for the last hour he didn't know what it said. He had read and reread it at least ten times. It had been three months since Booth abandoned Brennan. Even though he didn't really abandon her, that's what it felt like now. The first week had been considerably good. In a way, it had been a relief not to see her every day. Unfortunately, he thought about her every second and as the weeks passed by he didn't get the effect he had been hoping for. A small part of him had probably thought she would come running after him. It was stupid of him, he knew. She wasn't that kind of a person and she never would be.

Every day he expected to feel normal again. He expected to get over it. Instead, he found he didn't know who he was without her. He asked himself when that happened. He had always been self reliant and he was really surprised he could be so dependent on another person. On several occasions, he had to force himself from going to her apartment and confess all.

When he heard the Jeffersonian had been assigned a new FBI agent, he practically held his breath until someone told him the new agent was Campbell, a 50 year old married bore. The thought of her working with a young, smart and _available_ agent was too much for him to handle. With Campbell working with her, he wouldn't have to lose sleep over the thought of the two of them bickering in the car just like they had done. However, it turned out Brennan and her new partner did bicker. The difference was there was no underlying sexual tension present. It was pure dislike. Booth came to know this one day when he overheard Campbell complaining about Brennan to his colleagues. In the beginning Booth smiled listening to the things the older agent said about his former partner.

"I have never met a more stubborn woman. She never lets up!"

But as he went on, the smile disappeared from Booth's face.

"She is insufferable. I don't know how Booth could take it as long as he did. At least now I know why he requested a new partner. Before I got to know her I actually thought they'd slept together or something. I mean, she's attractive, I'll give her that. But after being subjected to her company, I can't believe anyone would think it was worth it. I don't care how good she is in bed."

At this, the other agents had laughed. Booth, however, went straight up to Campbell and hit him without a single word. Of course, the incident didn't go unpunished and it made Booth question whether or not his decision to leave Brennan was good for his mental health. Coincidentally, as he was sitting there, staring at the case file, thinking about the months that had past, one of the squints gave him an excuse to rethink his actions.

"Hi stranger." Angela was standing in front of him, smiling.

"Hey!" Booth was so happy to see one of them that he got up and gave her a hug.

"How've you been?"

"Ohh…you know…good." He didn't sound especially convincing. Angela raised an eyebrow.

"Okay, I won't even pretend to believe you because I've been getting that exact same response from Brennan about a hundred times and it's always accompanied with the sad puppy eyes-look you're giving me right now."

"How is Bones?" He didn't care that his question gave away some of his feeling towards his former partner. He was dying to hear something about how she was. The only thing he had gotten over the last three months was stolen glances whenever she came to the FBI building and one forced conversation by the elevator after which he had had to go back to his office to sit down. Booth would take any information Angela was willing to give him.

"Look, I'm not going to beat about the bush. The reason why I'm here is because Brennan is as miserable as you look. She would never admit it of course, but since you left she has gotten more and more touchy and that Campbell guy haven't made it any better. Actually she hates him, we all do." She paused, giving Booth a chance to respond.

"Is it really that bad?" He looked conflicted.

"Yes! Yesterday, Brennan yelled at Jack for 15 minutes just because he was five minutes late. She has practically stopped going out into the field which means poor Zach is stuck with Campbell." She fell silent for a few seconds. "I don't know what happened between you two but you have to come back. You have to get over it."

He had thought about doing exactly what Angela was asking every day since he left and now he had to add the motivation of Brennan being unhappy. Even though he knew what he would do he said "I'll think about it, okay?"

"You promise?"

He laughed. "You must really hate Campbell?"

She didn't respond. She only gave him a smile and left.

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He tried to wait at least a week before going to Cullen but he only made it two days. He felt like a little boy before Christmas Eve and as soon as Cullen gave him the okay, he went straight to the lab. When he entered the familiar place, the tightness that had been permanently settled in his chest during the last three months immediately felt better and when he saw her at her desk, it disappeared.

"Working hard as usual. It's nice to see some things never change." He leaned against the doorframe, smiling at her.

"Booth! What are you doing here?" She looked up, shocked to see him.

"I've missed you too." He walked over to the chair standing on the other side of her desk and sat down.

"I'm sorry…it's just that I haven't seen you in so long. I was beginning to think you'd changed careers. Finally caught enough murderers?"

He laughed. Silence fell and they looked at each other, half smiling. Booth continued. "Actually, I'm here to save you from agent Campbell."

"Save me?"

"I know you don't like being saved but I have it on good authority that you simply hate the guy and I figure the only way to solve that problem is for me to come back." He fiddled with his poker chip, not able to sit still. After all, he had been gone for a long time and the last time they spent time together, they had sex. It was no wonder he was nervous.

"Are you serious? What about the…"

He interrupted her before she could finish the sentence. "Yeah…turns out it wasn't that much fun to drive around alone arguing with myself." He smiled softly at her. He didn't want to talk about what he had said before he left. The fact was he was ashamed. Ashamed that he had to walk away and ashamed that he couldn't stay away. He hoped she would let him off the hook this time. She did.

"Oh my good Booth! I can't even express in words how happy that makes me. One more week and I would have killed that boring judgmental idiot."

He laughed once more. It felt so good to be with her, to be happy again. "I actually believe that."

"The others are going to be thrilled. They dislike Campbell as much as I do. In fact, they have been talking about you nonstop."

"In that case, I'll go and tell them right now." He got up and walked towards the exit.

"Booth, I've…" She fell silent for a moment, trying to find the right words. "I'm really going to enjoy working with you again."

"Me too." He allowed himself a few extra seconds of admiring her and then he left to find the rest of the squints.


	7. Last request

_The title for this chapter is taken from a song by Paolo Nutini. __I want to post the lyrics since it's very fitting for one of the situations in this chapter. Obviously, I don't own the song :)._

**Slow down, lie down. **

**Remember it's just you and me. **

**Don't sell out, bow out**

**Remember how this used to be**

**I just want you to know something, is that alright?**

**Baby let's get closer, tonight**

**Grant my last request and just let me hold you, don't shrug your shoulders**

**Lay down beside me**

**Sure I can accept that we're going nowhere**

**But one last time let's go there**

**Lay down beside me, ohhh**

**I've found that I'm bound to wander down that long way road, ohhh**

**And I realiz****e all about your lies,**

**But I'm no wiser than the fool that I was before.**

**I just want you to know something, is that alright?**

**Baby let's get closer, tonight.**

**Grant my last request and just let me hold you, don't shrug your shoulders**

**Lay down beside me**

**Sure I can accept that we're going nowhere**

**But one last time let's go there**

**Lay down beside me, ohhh**

**Baby, baby, baby**

**Tell me how can, how can this be wrong?**

**Grant my last request and just let me hold you, don't shrug your shoulders**

**Lay down beside me**

**Sure I can accept that we're going nowhere**

**But one last time let's go there**

**Lay down beside me, ohhh**

**Grant my last request and just let me hold you, don't shrug your shoulders**

**Lay down beside me**

**Sure I can accept that we're going nowhere**

**But one last time let's go there**

**Lay down beside me, ohhh**

**Lay down beside me**

**One last time let's go there,**

**Lay down beside me.

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**

Brennan was lying in bed, half awake and half asleep. She was walking down a long road and when she looked down she saw that she was wearing a wedding dress. She remembered she was on her way to her wedding and suddenly, a hill appeared. She looked up and saw the church. It was big and beautiful but oddly enough, it was black and not white. She started to climb up the hill, but the farther she walked, the steeper the hill became and her dress was getting in the way. When she was almost there, a giant bell appeared and started ringing. I got louder and louder. When she thought she couldn't take it anymore, she opened her eyes and saw that her alarm was going off. She hit the snooze button and sat up.

"That was weird. It's good I don't believe in psychology." She said this out loud even though no one was around.

"What was that?" She heard a voice from the kitchen.

Oh right, Booth had stayed the night. She hadn't really gotten used to that yet."Nothing, just talking to myself."

"Oookay…should I be worried?" He appeared in the doorway.

"Not more than usual." She gave him teasing smile and he walked over to her, bent down and pressed a light kiss on her lips.

"Okay, then. Whatever you say." He straightened back up. "Why don't you stay in bed a little longer. I'll make us breakfast."

"That sounds great. I need to finish a dream anyway." She lay back down but she didn't fall asleep. Instead she started to think about how strange this was. To have Booth be there when she woke up. She was amazed they had actually made it to this point. When he left her, she thought it would be forever but then he came back. Even though she had no plans of them being together at that time, she was ecstatic to be working with him again. During the months he was gone, she missed him terribly. It was then that she realized he was one of her best friends. She was mad at herself for not being able to take the next step. A part of her wanted to but she was too afraid to lose him and in her opinion it was better to have a great friend and partner forever then a short romantic relationship. Simply put, she didn't think it was worth the risk. Then how did she end up here?

When they started working together again it was as if he had never left. They were back to their normal routine of bickering in the car in no time. She couldn't remember when things started to change but they probably grew closer without her even noticing. There was one time she remembered vividly however. It was the first time she had seen Booth vulnerable.

It had been spring and Parker had fallen from a tree while playing and for awhile they hadn't known if he would make it. Brennan had gone over to Booth's apartment the same night Rebecca had taken Parker home from the hospital. She didn't want him to be alone and when he opened the door, he looked miserable.

" Hey."

"Hi."He tried to compose himself.

"Can I come in?"

"Sure." He let her pass. "What's up?"

"I just wanted to go over our notes before the trial in that kidnapping case. If you're up to it?" She didn't want to confess she was checking up on him.

"I don't know why you even try Bones, you really are a terrible liar." He smiled gratefully at her.

"Fine… I wanted to see how you're holding up."

"I'm okay." He closed the front door but neither she nor Booth left the hall.

"Booth… come on" She put her hand on his upper arm and tried to hold his gaze. They stood like that for awhile before, suddenly, Booth pulled her into a hug, holding on to her tightly. At first, she was a little shocked but soon she started stroking his back, trying to comfort him. After a few minutes, he started talking.

"I'm not okay Bones. Not even close. I'm terrified. All the time. It's like my whole existence is dependent on another person and I don't have any control. I feel so powerless. I can't keep him safe enough, no matter what I do." He had to struggle to keep from crying.

"He'll be safe now, I promise. She pulled back to look at him, still letting him hold on to her while she rested her hands on his arms.

"Don't forget you've managed to keep me alive through numerous life and death situations and Parker isn't half as reckless as me." She smiled.

"That's true." Booth tried to smile as well. They stood like that for a moment looking at each other.

She was the one to break the silence. "You really need to sleep. You've been up for two days straight."

"I can't sleep. Every time I close my eyes I see him lying there… so small and vulnerable." He let go of her and took a step back.

"He's fine now and I tell you what, I'll stay and talk you to sleep…Shouldn't take too long." She gave him another comforting smile.

"Why don't you stay here tonight? You haven't slept in two days either and you shouldn't drive home when you're this tired."

"I drove here didn't I? And besides, I'm fine." She tried to sound alert but the truth was she was ready to fall asleep any second.

"Come on Bones. I have a big bed. You won't even know I'm there."

She thought about it for awhile. On the one hand she didn't really think it was a good idea for them to sleep in the same bed but on the other she wanted to be there for him when he needed her. She decided.

"Okay, fine. But I don't have anything to sleep in."

"That's okay, you can sleep naked." He gave her a wide smile. "Don't worry. I'm sure I have something."

When she came out of the bedroom in one of his oversized t-shirts, he was already in bed. He looked away as she climbed in next to him but she could see his eye wander. She settled on her side, facing him.

"Thank you Temperance."

"Hey, what are partners for?"

"Probably not this." He smiled at her but then his face turned serious again. "I won't forget it." He moved his hand to cover hers and after a few minutes, they fell asleep like that, holding hands.

When she thought about it now, she knew that night had meant more than she had allowed herself to grasp then. Even though nothing had happened, the moment had felt incredibly intimate. More so than the first time they had sex. The second time, however, was a different matter.

There hadn't been anything special about the case they were working on and it felt like any other night. They were at her apartment, just spending time together. Their evenings had gotten later and later and by 2 am Booth stood up and said he should be getting home. She walked him to the door but when they got there, he didn't leave. They just stood looking at each other. Neither one speaking at first.

"You know Bones, even though you drive me crazy, I'm thankful I have you company…and your brain." He gave her a lazy smile.

"Thank you…I guess." She wondered why he didn't leave but at the same time she didn't want him to.

"I wouldn't catch half as many bad guys without you, you know that." He leaned in a little, lowering his voice.

"And I wouldn't catch any." She too, lowered her voice. Since he was only inches from her face, it was enough to whisper.

Booth scanned her face, not looking her in the eyes. After awhile he settled on her lips for a fraction of a second before he made eye contact again.

"Screw it, I've waited long enough."

Before she could ask what he meant, his lips were upon hers. She didn't resist. She couldn't. After what felt like hours, he broke the kiss and gave her a searching look. When she didn't say anything, he closed the door behind him and kissed her again. This time a little softer. She hadn't realized how much she had longed for this until they were stumbling towards the bedroom, not wanting to break the kiss. When they fell onto the bed, he pulled his face away and looked at her. She remembered that he had gently removed a strand of hair from her face and whispered "so beautiful", more to himself than to her. Later, she would tease him about how clichéd it was but secretly she had liked it.

It hadn't been all sunshine and roses the next morning. In fact, she woke up freaked out about what had happened, again, and she had lain absolutely still beside him, thinking about how she would get out of it this time. When he woke up, he knew right away what she was thinking. She will never forget the speech he gave her because it made the difference between being together and not being together. He had started to get dressed, talking to her while she was still in bed, not knowing what to do, feeling like a child being educated on the ways of the world.

"Remember when we didn't work together? I hated not seeing you every day but in a way it was such a relief not being forced to hide my feelings all the time. Trying to resist kissing you every time I saw you. Dreading the day you would start dating again. It's hard hard work and I don't want to do it anymore." He put on his sock. "Bones, listen to me." He sat down on the bed. "I care a lot about you and I never want to lose you." Later he confessed he wanted to say he loved her but he didn't think she was ready. He had been right. "But we won't survive if you run again. I'm not saying that I would give up but it's only a matter of time before there would be too much pain and frustration in our relationship to recover from." He got up again. "Sure, I could tell you that 'true love never dies' or 'I'll wait as long as it takes' but the fact is, I don't believe in those kinds of clichés and I don't want us to miss this chance just because you're scared."

When he fell quiet for a second, she took her chance to argue. "Booth, I never want to feel like I felt that day my parents disappeared. I don't even know if I could handle it. And I don't want to lose your friendship. I'm afraid we won't make it as a couple. The odds are against us"

"You might think that you couldn't survive losing someone you love again but I know you, better than you know yourself sometimes. You are stronger than most people are and if everybody else in this world can survive heartbreak, so can you." Again he sat down beside her. "I 'm not going to promise you that you won't ever lose me just to get what I want right now. But I can tell you that your chance of losing me is as big if you keep denying what I know you feel." He took her hand and held her gaze. "What I can promise you is that I never _want_ to lose you and I will fight to the bitter end. And trust me, whatever happens it's worth it."

"But what if I betrayed you, would you still want to risk it?" She knew she was losing but being who she was, she had to get all the arguments out.

"You would never betray me, I trust you. That's what a relationship is. You trust the other person, and maybe you'll get betrayed anyway but you can't accept defeat beforehand. That's just stupid. One might even say irrational". He smiled mischievously at her.

"Well, when you put it that way, I guess I can't argue." She smiled as well. She knew she had to take this chance since she would lose him anyway if she didn't.

--------------------------------------------------

Booth stood in the kitchen, preparing the breakfast he had promised her. He heard her get up and go into the bathroom. He had almost started to believe his luck. He was actually in a relationship with Temperance Brennan. He was still amazed he had succeeded in convincing her little less than a year ago. However, he remembered that even though she surrendered to his arguments that day he had known that it wasn't the last time they would talk about it and that it would be the biggest challenge of his life, making this work with her. But like he said, it was worth it.


End file.
